Published.
I wrote a book. It's published. *ahem* WOOOOooOOOOooooHOOOOooOOOO!
On the 21st day of the 25th year of the 21st century, Five Minutes from a Meltdown: A Comedic Poetry Collection by David Meyer, illustrated by Mark Hill, was published.
This Substack post does commemorate this occasion.
There are many places to buy the book, if you haven’t already (or if you have and want more, which, let’s be honest, who could blame you?):
and many local bookstores (like my favorite growing up, and home to a future Chicago book event in March [details to come], the Winnetka Book Stall).
When you have your copy of the book, if you would be so kind, please review the book on any (or all!) of the above sites. It helps immensely and only takes a few moments. Also share the book with anyone you know, online and in real life! Thank you in advance.
And thank you all for reading, sharing, buying, laughing, and supporting, not in that particular order.
It has been a true pleasure to share this with you, and it has been a long time coming. I know more writing is not too far behind.
People keep congratulating me on this book, which I appreciate, but I’m much prouder of the support you all give me than the accomplishment itself. The book has shown itself to be a conduit of your love and support for me, and I cherish that beyond belief, much more than the physical pages.
So thank you, thank you. This book would never be in the world without you. Seriously. Without this Substack, it never would have happened, and you are a part of this Substack, which means you are a part of creating this book, creating new art. Whether you joined on the day of the first post on this Substack, or joined the Substack today, when you’re obviously reading this in the year 2485, when it’s even more relevant and timely than ever, Bill-&-Ted-style (this reference still holds up too), you’re a part of this. So if anyone gets mad at the book, this is partially your fault, and I’ll steer them your way.
But in all seriousness:
A world with fewer books, scarcer storytelling, and less art is a worse world. So thank you for making the world better today, and every other day during which you help art get made, which you do, even on days when it may feel like you don’t.
Every single day, your actions spark ideas, your support helps artists create, and your living and enjoying art ensures someone will make more. Thank you for making a more beautiful, meaningful, world by reading, by truly living, by just existing. And I’m so glad to share my existence with you through literature.
The written word can be a pleasure, but the meaning behind the words can be a joy.
Just a little something to think about whenever you pick up a book. Or maybe just some BS from last night while I attempted to be deep as I wrote this while exhausted at midnight. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is really this:
How incredibly lucky are we to be able to write and read?
And with that, I finish writing about the release of my book as though I’ve just written Hamlet or Jane Eyre or The Giving Tree. Because I haven’t. I’m not going to kid you or myself. I’d honestly be worried if Five Minutes from a Meltdown made you rethink your entire existence in the way those books might. But I hope it does bring you some joy or keep you from a Meltdown or change your perspective on something, big or small, something like everyday life or poetry or even a single meaning of a single word. Jeez, there are so many ‘ors’ in this paragraph that I could row a Viking ship.
If you chuckle once, at even one line, of any poem in the whole collection that is Five Minutes from a Meltdown? That’s a win for me. One second of forgetting the bad stuff, one spark of happiness, one moment of joy. That’s what I aim for in my writing and every day in real life too. Just one moment of pure emotion (preferably pure joy) is all I’m going for. I’m going for one unadulterated, unavoidable, undeterred laugh. I don’t care how many jokes it takes. I’ll take a gasp, or a snicker, a scream, or a short breath out the nose. Heck, I’ll take a groan, too, clearly (see previous paragraph for the ‘or’ joke). It all counts the same in my head.
Happy Publishing Day.
Thank you.
All my love,
David Meyer, O.P.A.P. (officially published author poet)1 2345678
You down with O.P.P?
Wow, I just looked up what O.P.P. stands for in the song, and Naughty By Nature sure is an apt name for the rap group who made it.
For the record, I am not down with O.P.P. unless it stands for Officially Published Poet. You know what? I’m changing the acronym back to O.P.A to avoid any confusion that I may support the actions in that song.
All my love, David Meyer, O.P.A.P
That’s better.
I told you I wrote this when I was really tired, didn’t I?
There are more foot-notes here than when Tom Hanks danced on that giant piano in Big!
I really am so, so, so, tired. :) Bedtime! (yes, I scheduled this post for 9:30am PST)